I Miss My Kids

Yep - I said it. I miss my kids. It's funny really. I love my new life and new place and settling in to fun new routines with my husband but that is why I miss my kids.

I don't miss the toddler age or when they were even little kids. I miss the last couple of years of high school and the cool relationship shift where we talked about life and they giggled and made noise. I miss not being able to share fun new things. And isn't that how you know you love someone. You want to share the good times with them.

I'm so proud of my kids. One in college and one doing a good job of adulting. Growing and maturing and they still come home and we still talk on the phone. But I miss the time with them. I knew I would and for the last eight years or so I knew this was coming. This changed relationship that will grow and mature over time but as with all loss you have to grieve what was.

Grief is such a love word. The more you love the more you grieve. So as I miss my kids I'll process this grief and appreciate even more when they are here in my presence.

“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” 1 John‬ ‭3:18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

If You Know Me

So on Friday I was in the car headed out of town and curiosity got the better of me. I decided to post something on Facebook that I had seen on other people's pages. It looked like this on my page:

"Car ride on the way to see the oldies and my college dude. Help me pass the time. 😃

Anyone who knows me knows I love ________"

So I was wondering. What do I love?  What do people who know me think I love? And what do I think people think I love?

The results were fairly accurate but as I dwelt on those questions my heart was a bit broken. As a believer in the world today we are under constant scrutiny. People watch to see if we are judgmental or holier than, in our words and actions. We live in a world where believing in God and what He says in His word is often seen as politically incorrect.

As a believer in God I really shouldn't be concerned about what people think except for one thing. People should see that the one thing I love most is Jesus. And then second to that should be people. It's what we are commanded to do.

“And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-40‬ ‭ESV‬‬

That's it. When people wonder what I love it should just be Jesus. I shouldn't care what they think about me other than if they see His love as the greatest thing reflected in my life. His love should be reflected in my love for my family, friends and the stranger on the street. I wish I could say that was the first and only response to my Facebook question but it was the 7th of 7. The others were all about my love for family and friends which is a good thing but man it should all be about Him.

Along that same line the verses I put in the beginning picture are a reminder that I don't need a pat on the back either. I just need to love Him so much that I become more and more like Him and my actions look like His - like love. The kind of love that overwhelms people. So that the only pat on the back I desire is to someday bow in His presence and know I devoted all of me to His kingdom.  He wants our devotion and for us to devote all of our things, people, relationships,  and work to Him. Because when we lay our lives and all we have at His feet we know we can trust Him to take care of all of it. And one day we will be able to stand in His presence and hear Him say - well done. That's the only recognition I crave - For my Father in heaven to be proud that I loved like Him.