As a mother my birthing experiences were not too complex in the grand scheme of things. My daughter was fifteen days late and eventually the doctor had to go in and get her. The second birth was stillborn and was a natural birth as termed by doctors with my son being the last and delivered three weeks earlier than his due date but as a scheduled C-section. All in all the recovery from the births was not too challenging physically and the pregnancies were relatively easy. I was very blessed as a mother.
The funny thing is the birth pains last a life time. Each time my kids do something or achieve something there are birth pains or maybe growth pains involved. I never really had contractions except with the baby I lost and those were medically induced. So to say I had a lot of pain during birth would not be true for the most part. The pain really comes later.
Over the years the birth pains have occurred at different times. The first friendships that were formed and then didn't survive. When they came home upset because of something someone said or did. With grades and homework and not being able to do something they wanted for whatever reason. The time my daughter rode her bike for ten miles with a friend to another city then called to tell me she was getting a ride home from someone's parent. Those pains create fear. Fear of what could have been or what could be and then the realization that I may be the parent but there really is nothing I can control in their lives.
I can try to control their lives - I can teach them and love them and manipulate them or guilt them into doing the things that I think they should but the reality is that's not real and so not fair to them. I'm just a director or guide in the grand scheme of their lives - the only one in control is God. He knows the plans He has for them - not me. My job is to pray and to have the courage and strength to let them make mistakes and learn and grow into the people He wants them to be.
My daughter is about to make plans for her next journey - graduate school and beyond just as my son is making plans for the beginning of his journey with choosing a college and how far he will be from mom. There is much pain as we walk through this next birth stage but the most beautiful thing as a mother is seeing the growth. That which was birthed in them through God as a part of who they are - driving them to see what comes next and making decisions and walking the hard roads - that is where the beauty of the birth lies.
Both of my kids have known challenges. They have struggled and I have cried for them and with them. But each time I see the most beautiful things come out of their pain - a deeper understanding of who they are and what that means in God's plan. How they use their pain to deepen their level of compassion for others and the wisdom they gain. The reality is that it is only in pain that strength and grace grow. The mercy we recognize we need allows us to give mercy to others. I've tried not to shelter them too much - there are reasons I am sometimes overprotective of my children - and mine are quite valid. I'm learning though as we enter this new phase that the birth pain is still there - I still want to swaddle them and protect them from the future pains they will face but doing so will only weaken them and me. They have to stand on their own two feet and they have to fall down in order to learn to pick themselves up.
Just like the verse says - let perseverance finish its work so you may be mature and complete - even when the pain seems great we have to press on to become what God wants us to be.
Birthing babies is hard work and the process never really ends and they will always be my babies.
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