Monday, November 9, 2015

Control Freak

I am a control freak. I like to know what's coming. The unexpected and surprises are not enjoyable to me. My posts lately all seem to revolve around change and my lack of control.

Just this weekend I did one of those Facebook quizzes (I don't put much stock in these) about your word for the new year. What do you know - my word was change. It seems to be the story of my life. 

I spent the weekend with my son and boyfriend on a college visit for my son to look at one more school. It was a vivid reminder of the upcoming changes and the possibilities for tomorrow. If I could write the script of my life I would just ink in each step for me and my kids and all my relationships to go exactly as I would like in the time I would like. Regretfully, I can't do that. I can't predict or even really plan the tomorrows. It would be so less scary if I could. 

What I can do, is pray. That's really all I can do. I do have to make steps to move forward and try to guide my kids wisely as they choose the next location for the next phase of life but I can't make those choices for them. I can try to make sure I have all the necessary things in line for the next phase of my life but I am not guaranteed tomorrow. 

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7 NIV

Natalie Grant has a beautiful new song called King of the World. If you haven't heard it you should. It's a great reminder of who controls our lives. Not us and certainly not me. Only God. 

God gave me a beautiful sunrise this morning and it was a vivid example of His hand at work. A new day, a new start. Each step with Him makes the changes less scary. 

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