Trust is Hard Work

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ ESV)

Trust was my word for 2017 and I think that there is still more to learn. Trust takes work. Hard work and daily effort. I learned that a lot of trusting is just letting go of trying to plan out every detail and making it work the way I want.

I have trust issues. There are some reasons and yet no real reason other than the fact that my mind goes to places it shouldn’t in regards to always leaning to the negative outcome of just thinking the worst.  You see I have always kind of been an assume the worst and then anything is better kind of thinker. That leads to some stress and anxiety.

I learned this year to take those thoughts captive a little quicker and not assume I knew how things would go or turn out. In relationships this is essential. I have to actively pursue the positive thoughts and throw out the thoughts based on other people and the past. What I found was I would fall back on thoughts about how someone else did something or didn’t do something and it would evoke emotions that were negative and led to questioning trust.

I tried to memorize verses that had to do with trusting God and then reminding myself when those those thoughts cane up just basically throwing them out and replacing them with the positives. Trust isn’t just an emotion or a vague faith in mankind.  It’s actively choosing trust over distrust. It’s actively reminding myself of the reality of the actions of my God and those in my life. Not the imaginings of a distrustful mind.

What I learned in 2017 was that trust doesn’t just happen and it will be an ongoing lesson. I also learned I am somewhat selfish and prideful so I guess God thought 2018 should address that.  So for this year I’m gonna focus on Humility.

I started reading Andrew Murray’s book on humility and I was immediately hit with this thought. Being humble isn’t just thinking less of myself. It’s not self depreciation. It’s acknowledging that it’s not about me.

So Happy New Year - trust God and others. Remember trust, like Love is a choice.

From Andrew Murray’s book Humility 

Stolen Blessings

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:12-14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I have always been somewhat independent and proud. I prefer to be the fixer or helper and serve behind the scenes more often than in the limelight. As a believer in Jesus I started blogging for a couple of reasaons. Primarily because my brain and heart were overflowing and I needed to spill that out to process it. At the same time I felt that one of the biggest things that was missing in the many churches I grew up in was transparency.

There was this perfectionist Christian mentality that seemed to preclude people from admitting when they were struggling. Too many were concerned with what others would think and say if they admitted their relationship with Jesus wasn’t perfect. That is a very hard way to live and I really tried to live that way.

But then I found the most amazing thing in those same believers. When I faltered or struggled and actually shared that with someone I was often overwhelmed with help or words of encouragement and even some were willing to step up and say I’ve been there too and I understand. Wow. What a blessing to receive. Acceptance and love in spite of the circumstance or struggle.

During really hard losses or struggles God showed up in those people. When my daughter died a friend called to say God told her to buy me a dress for the funeral. She bought a few and one was as if God said through her - I see you. I see your hurt and I am with you. You see the dress designer was named “Sarah Elizabeth” the name we chose for our daughter. My friend didn’t know. She just shopped for dresses because God said to.

Another time a friend called to say she wanted to do my families laundry while my son was in the hospital very near death. That is my least favorite chore. That experience was probably one of the most humbling. My pride wouldn’t let me ask for help easily and to take my dirty underwear to someone else to wash was very difficult. It was physical reminder of our need for transparency.

We learn from each other. We draw hope from each other. When we allow God to use our brokenness  to reach into others lives we give courage and strength to someone else struggling. When we don’t ask for help or someone offers and we refuse then we steal their blessing. You see there are two sides to every blessing. The blessing of being the giver (helper or servant) and the blessing as the receiver. I prefer to be the giver. I really don’t like being the recipient. And yet I have been blessed so many times by friends who listened to God. A bag of groceries or a check or even a bag of unexpected kitchen items left at an apartment door.

In the past few years I’ve really had to remind myself that I need to be aware of stealing the blessing from the giver. When someone takes the time to obey God and offer to help or share or serve and I say no it’s a missed blessing for us both.

My mom is about to go round three with cancer. She has battled breast cancer twice. Now we face yet another round. She isn’t worried about herself but she is worried. Worried for my dad who is worried for her. And worried for all of us kids who are also worried for her and my dad. But one thing I know is that we are all about to experience the blessing of God. Because regardless of what happens with her health I know that there are people who have walked this road that will come along side of us.  People will bring meals and there will be many prayers. And friend prayer is the most powerful thing we can do.

Prayer connects us the the power within (if you are a believer) and the highest power -God. The God who raises the dead and heals the sick and created the universe. Prayer connects us in the most powerful way.

So I ask any of you who read this to just pray. Pray for my family this week as we face surgery and then information.  And next time someone offers to step into your struggle say thank you and allow both of you to be blessed