I remember the days of being young and in school and thinking that I can't wait to grow up.
Making my own decisions.
Staying up late.
Having a job and money.
And then came the reality.
Making my own decisions = suffering my own consequences.
Staying up late = too tired to function the next day.
Having a job and money = commitment and responsibility and bills.
What we imagine as children and teenagers is not exactly how it turns out when we are grown. There is a difference between growing up and becoming mature. Growing up happens to all of us. We get older, our bodies tend to more obviously reflect our age and over time we die.
Becoming mature means recognizing what responsibility is and having the self-discipline to do the hard things even when we don't want to. It's hard to adult and some days I want to just crawl back in the bed and let somebody else make my decisions and pay my bills and suffer my consequences but that's not the way it works.
I look at my kids and the kids of my friends and it's so easy to see how different they all are. Some are wise beyond their years and see things in deep ways but don't do as well at getting things done. Some are organized and scheduled so that their lives seems to run like clocks. Some just have the artistic perspective and want someone else to adult.
There comes a point in all our lives where we have to step up and decide how we are gonna handle life. Are we going to let it overwhelm us and run us over or are we going to find the discipline to make decisions for ourselves and not listen to the voices we always have.
As a parent it's even harder. I have to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of my children and help them learn to discipline themselves. Teaching them to suffer consequences for their choices by not doing things for them and by encouraging them to make their own phone calls and appointments or making their own decisions.
It's especially hard when you lean towards a very strong independent disciplined mindset and those you are teaching are a more get it done or not it really doesn't matter mindset. It means sometimes watching them fall or miss out on something because they didn't do it. It's means helping them know their own personality type so they know their limits and when they need to ask for help.
Some people just don't do details well and helping them learn some way to deal with the details or knowing when to say "hey this scares me can you help me" can be a challenge. I have to be very careful with my kids because I have a tendency to enable them. I'm learning to encourage without doing it for them but it's so hard when I can just do it so much easier and faster. Regretfully, if I just do it then they don't learn to do it for themselves. And I also have to be careful not to tell them they can't do it. I don't want to be the negative voice in their head but at the same time I want them to be realistic and recognize what they can and can't do.
I'm so glad God doesn't just do everything for me. He forces me to depend on Him but recognize that I am loved no matter what I choose. Growing in faith and maturing requires constant discipline and communication. He can help me with all my choices if I just go to Him with them. He can teach me to be self-disciplined and responsible.
As much as I don't want to adult some days I know God has it in His hands and I can rest in that. He speaks to me through His love and helps me mature in Him. He is also more than capable of taking care of my kids. I daily have to give them back to Him and know He walks with them even when I can't. We all just have to persevere.
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:4 NIV
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