To Receive You Must Accept

“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”” Mark 10:15 ESV

Little kids and big kids love gifts. To get something that is hidden by pretty paper and ribbons. A surprise waiting to be opened by a child full of wonder. It's always fun watching them tear into something and how excited they get when someone gives them a gift. But if they just hold the gift and never accept it then there is no joy or understanding of what it contains. 

In the same way God gave us an incredible gift. He sent His Son to die on the cross so that we could be forgiven of our sins and spend eternity in heaven. The problem is we have to accept it. We have to actually reach out our hands past our pride filled hearts and take the gift He gives. 

He gave the greatest gift and once we accept it and receive His guidance over our lives then we daily have the gift of His presence to walk us through each day. 

Merry Christmas - accept Him and receive the most life changing gift ever. Everything else is just stuff. 

Anticipation

Matthew 24:42 ESV “Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.” 

Anticipation - When I hear this word I go straight to the song for the Heinz ketchup commercial. The song sung by Carly Simon rings in my head when I read that word. Lately I've been thinking that in our fast paced instant access society we have forgotten how to anticipate something. Instead of the growing excitement for something we just feel frustration and aggravation. Instead of hope we struggle with doubt. 

As Christmas approaches this seems especially true. I remember being little and the excitement and eagerness of Christmas Day. Mostly because of the gifts. How hard it was to go to sleep Christmas Eve and how easy to bounce out of bed to open gifts. These days I get far more excited and anticipate the reactions they others might have over the gifts they will receive. 

Today as believers we have lost the anticipation that the Israelites would have had as they watched for a Messiah. Our culture is rapidly leading us to the feelings they must have experienced. Living with the horrible fear of the emperors and kings who took the life of Israelites and then the joy of those who believe the Messiah came. 

As we look around today do we live expectantly and anticipate our Lord coming again or do we live in fear of all that is going on around us?  We so easily forget that we know the ending and when Jesus comes the second time all will be new.  

As I approach Christmas Day I am hopeful and expectant of amazing things. Just as the Jewish people waiting and anticipating the arrival of the Christ child I am waiting for Him to come again. It's so easy to get distracted and afraid of what tomorrow holds. But I just need to remember that each day brings me closer to eternity with Him and to live with the anticipation of seeing His face rather than the fear of the unknown. 

Matthew 24:44 ESV “Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”

Why Do We Assume They Know?

I was told once that when you assume something without asking questions you make an ass out of u and me. Now I don't normally use that word but when we assume we are acting as if we know everything and that is impossible. 

I think for me the worst assumption we make is that people - family - friends - know that they are loved and accepted as they are. We just think everyone knows. Maybe we show it through our actions or through our work or provision but the reality is we can't assume that anyone knows what we feel or think about them. We can't assume that they know that family always has an open door and invitations aren't necessary. We can't assume they because we work to provide food and shelter they know we love them. We can't assume because we give a token gift at Christmas that we want to be with them and spend time together. 

So many times when we make these types of assumptions someone feels neglected, overlooked or left out. This is really hard for me because not being a socially minded person I sometimes assume especially with family that they know they are always welcome in my home (wherever that may be) and that they are loved. Sometimes we wait until it is too late to realize we should have taken the opportunity to say the words and make the invitations. 

We all get so focused in our little world that we forget about those who are in the periphery. As we get older our focus may change to spouse and children and we lose the connections with our siblings or parents. Or maybe changes in our circumstances shift our focus from close friends. We just assume those people will always know they are loved and appreciated. But do they?  So they know that just because we aren't walking the same road and doing the same things that we still want to see them and talk to them and spend time with them. How could they. They may feel disconnected and even though they may deep down know the truth they might not feel the truth. 

I think this is how satan can so easily distract us. We assume that if we don't "feel" God's presence all day every day that He has somehow deserted us. That's when we have to seek the truth. We have to pour over His words and know that the markers of our past, those times we knew He was with us, are real and just because our fickle emotions don't sense His presence, the truth is a strong foundation. He is my rock and my salvation and He will never forsake me. 

As we draw ever closer to Christmas and the giving of gifts I am struck by the greatest gift. God's presence. He came so we could have His presence forever in us. We are blessed to be able to enjoy the guidance of our God because He reigns in us. We don't have to have a priest to go before us. We can walk daily in His presence. I get discouraged sometimes when I can't spend or buy the things I think my family needs or wants and I never know what to tell them when they ask what I want. Because the reality  is I couldn't tell you what gifts I got in the past year for Christmas or my birthday. They are just things and they run together after time. What makes a mark on my heart are the moments shared together laughing, eating, crying or praying. The gift of time. Jesus walked with people and touched people and showed them with His actions and words that they were worthy. They didn't have to assume or try to determine. He left no doubt. 

I pray that God will help me to be intentional in giving the gift of my presence (not stuck in a book or phone), my active presence with my people and then that I will use the words that they need to hear from me. Words of love and acceptance and affirmation. Because those gifts can't be given when they are gone. 

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

James 1:17 NIV

Just a Baby

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.” 

Luke 2:10-11 NIV 

I saw this picture on Facebook the other day and it made a mark on my mind. It seems so normal. So often when we see pictures of Christ it's as if the artist is somehow trying to make Him appear better than or more holy than all other pictures. And of course He is God and He is holy but He came to us in the most humble way. 

A baby. Tiny, wrinkled and most likely screaming into this world. The Bible indicates that He experienced all of humanity and yet never sinned. A baby - completely helpless and dependent on a mom and dad who were completely unprepared. Babies don't come with manuals and how to guides. They come each one different and unique. With personalities and quirks and issues that are individual. 

I imagine that Christ was the same way. He was a baby and a boy and a teenager and then a man. Just like every baby boy born He faced all the same things. We don't know if he was a part of the in crowd in high school or a kid on the fringe. I imagine he befriended the weird kids and the outcasts and the less than perfect teens. 

He might have even been a colicky baby or one that got His days and nights backwards for a while. I imagine that at times Mary questioned if she was doing anything right. And Joseph held the responsibility of teaching God about daily Hebrew manners and life. As a parent the feelings of parenting another life can be overwhelmingly frightening. The fear that we are going to somehow mess up our children. I can't even begin to imagine how Mary and Joseph felt parenting God. That's a whole other level of pressure. 

This morning I was working on my current memory verses Luke 2:10-11 and the thought of God coming as a baby overwhelmed me. God came completely humbled putting on flesh that bleeds and breaks all so He could suffer and die for me. WOW!  That's so amazing. Why would He do that for such a sinner as me. Because all He ever wanted was to commune with those He created. All of us. All the broken, ugly, bruised and outcast people. He loves us so much. 

This year think of the sacrifice made as you look for the perfect gift or make the perfect dish - God came imperfectly and lived perfectly so we could someday stand in His presence and be made perfect. That's the greatest gift of Christmas. Don't let it get overshadowed in the expectations of the perfect holiday.  Just focus on Him. 

Where We Come From

Over the years I've struggled reading the lists of genealogy and records in the Bible. I love to hear God's word and seek the information the Spirit wants to impart but the list of names seems tedious. Recently I had a moment of enlightenment. The genealogies define who the people of the Bible are. How they were shaped in life and what that means for their role on earth and in teaching us about their character. 

Growing up I didn't have the opportunity to know my grandparents well. We lived away and saw them over the summer and sometimes holidays and I have great memories although sparse of those times. Before I was out of elementary school I only had one grandparent still living.  For my kids I prayed they would have the opportunity to know their grandparents and even great grandparents with some depth of relationship. 

My kids are blessed to have known their great grandparents some and their grandparents very well. They can ask about where they came from and have wonderful memories of time spent with them. 

At this time of year I'm especially thankful for that. As parents we shape our children. For the good and the bad. We make choices hoping to give them the best opportunities to grow wise and caring. One choice I made a few years ago was to be sure that even though their father and I would not be together that I would do all I could to help them not lose any family connections. Their father and I worked together to be sure they could maintain those relationships. 

I'm grateful for that and I know they are as well. They haven't had to choose between us. 

As they get older they will have to choose to be intentional in keeping those relationships.  With their parents as well as their grandparents. They love hearing of their genealogy. The people who came before and how they came to be and as they grow and have kids they will have that to pass on to their kids. 

Lately I've been more aware of just how important that is. Families can damage one another in ways that outsiders never can. Through words and actions we can tear each other down and manipulate each other causing great difficulties and pain. Some even choose to turn their back on their families and leave heartache in their wake. I think the saddest part is when someone walks away from family and doesn't get to come back. They lose so much. As my parents get older I know how blessed I am to have had time with them. We don't always agree and I don't always agree with my siblings but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are my family and I am loved. 

I pray that during this holiday season if you can't trace your roots or you've some how disconnected from your family tree that you will take an example from the Bible and mend your genealogy.  Make peace a part of your Christmas and be sure that you don't wait until it's too late and someone has slipped away permanently. We aren't guaranteed forever and time flies too quickly. Before you know it - kids are grown and parents are gone and making peace becomes impossible. 

““Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Matthew 5:23-24 NIV 

Foggy Brain

“Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.””

John 20:29 NIV

This morning was a foggy morning. We've had a few of those this past week as the weather can't decide if it's going to be hot or cold. Living in the south has it advantages and mild temperatures can be part of that but right now the weather is just confused. 

Some days my brain is that way. Confused. Foggy and just slow. Today was one of those days. I was practicing my memory verses with my son on our ride to work and I got them all convoluted. My brain was as foggy as the weather. 

The last few days I've been thinking about doubt. The definition of doubt is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.  I have those days. Days where I doubt everything. My clothes, my hair, my whole physical being. I doubt that food is healthy and that what I see in the mirror is real or right. I doubt people and what they say versus what they do. Even worse some days I doubt what I believe.  Thankfully those doubtful days aren't lasting. Usually it's just a passing thought. A question that comes up and I wonder. 

Isn't that how it starts? A passing thought that so easily leads us down a path of searching and seeking and sometimes burying us in the wrong thing. I've learned that when I have those doubts no matter how big or small I have to immediately take them captive and filter them through truth. I have to reach for the hand of my Father - through His word and prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to replace those thoughts with His thoughts and truth. 

When I think of doubt in the bible I think of Peter and Thomas. Two disciples who both had doubts. Peter briefly took his eyes off Jesus when he was walking on the water and he begin to sink until he took the hand of the Savior. And Thomas had to see to believe that Christ was resurrected. Both had to see and touch the Savior to redirect their minds. 

The fog only obscures the things around it until the sun burns it off. Just like our doubts. Until the Son burns them away they are like the fog that clouds our faith. Seek Him at the first sign of fog. 

“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?””

Matthew 14:31 NIV

Never Let Them Steal Your Joy

Joy is different than being happy. It's  taken me a while to get the difference between the two and some days I need a reminder. 

When I talk about joy I'm talking about the joy of the Lord - the gladness of heart that comes from knowing God.  It's a deeper sense of belonging and finding peace with all that goes on around me.  Being happy is a choice and is fleeting often determined by circumstance. 

I'm not always happy and I'm not one given to showing extreme emotion. It's just not my nature. I've learned over the years that the peace that abides in Christ and the joy of knowing Him go far deeper than my circumstances. 

The picture above is a ring that was given to me by a sweet friend who had a grasp of joy and peace. She told me when she gave it to me to never let anyone steal my joy. At the time I don't believe I fully comprehended what she meant. Since then I've learned that to maintain my joy is to keep my focus where it belongs. On the one who gives me eternal joy. 

Oh that doesn't mean I will always be happy. My emotions may fluctuate and I will face times where im not happy. But I can rest in the truth that joy is far greater than happiness. The joy of God is the deep assurance that one day my hope wil be complete in eternity with Him and the temporary sorrows of this world will vanish. That's real joy and guarding that truth against anything that happens in this world or from those who choose to be bitter and ugly or negative is what it means to not let anyone steal my joy. Don't let life keep your focus off of God. Spend time in the word and feeding on His truth and the joy will be present - even when life doesn't seem very joyful. 

“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

John 15:10-11 NIV

Sitting on the Roof

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

Proverbs 21:9 NIV

This past weekend I had to go up on the roof of the house to take care of some minor repairs. My helper - my son - came up with me to help me get the job done and monitor my safety. While we were up there he discovered it was actually a pleasant place to be. The weather was perfect and he discovered a stronger wi-fi connection. 

The next day it was also beautiful and he asked if he could spend some more time on the roof. At the time I thought this was humorous and had to refuse because there wouldn't be anyone there to know if he fell. 

Today as I was getting ready for work I was reminded of why we might all want to sometimes hide on the roof.  It's rather peaceful. When the weather is nice it tends to be quiet and there is a certain amount of solitude.  In our world today there is so much chaos and quarreling.

I was reminded of the verse in proverbs that mentions the corner of the roof being better than a house with a quarrelsome wife. Whether it's a wife or husband or just people it sometimes seems like the roof is the best place to be. Away from people and the opportunity for quarrels erupting. We all face choices that can create conflict and sometimes we would rather hide on the roof. 

Our society today seems to feed on differences of opinion. We all want our way to be the only way and the right way.  The reality is we are all different and we will have different views.  We allow our fear of what we do not understand to make us quarrel. Last night I was reminded that Christ came as a tiny baby requiring someone to do everything for Him. He didn't come with flaming swords and chariots into battle. He came humbly and lived His life serving those around Him. He taught His disciples that the first should be last and we should be like little children and care for others as if they were children. 

“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.””

Mark 9:35-37 NIV

Being a Christian doesn't mean hiding on the roof to avoid those we don't want to serve or don't agree with. It means serving others humbly. It means not judging those who aren't exactly like us. 

I once sat in a coffee shop and overheard a group of ladies discussing other ladies who weren't present. Couched in prayer requests that quickly turned to gossip and judgment. I was tempted to hide on the roof. I have done the same thing and I'm ashamed to say it's sometimes easy to pass judgment on other friends and family who aren't living the way I think they should. 

When I was thinking about the "quarrelsome wife" I felt my heart sink. I do not do conflict well and I sometimes wish I could hide on the roof. But as a believer I'm called to stand for God and serve others. Having a servant's heart means thinking of others first. If we all did that more we wouldn't have to spend time on the roof to find a quiet place to rest. We would be encouragers. Striving to encourage one another to be the most like Christ we can.

Giving Grace

I've been thinking on grace lately and God has been speaking to my heart.  How He gives us grace daily and how we should give grace as well.  The definition of grace is the free and unmerited favor of God.  Free - undeserved - favor.  Our culture struggles with acceptance and worth and yet our God freely gives it to anyone and everyone.  I struggle with giving grace.  I can look back at the last few years and pat myself on the back for giving grace in some big ways and then turn around and judge someone who is living different than me in little ways.  That doesn't say much about my ability to give grace. 

We had a dog name Grace.  She was the epitome of grace.  A mix between a lab and a dachshund and no matter what she loved her family.  She didn't care how long between petting sessions or playing sessions - if you walked out the door she was giving grace.  We miss her terribly in our house and it's a vivid reminder of what grace is about.  If we don't have grace we miss it immensely.  We feel the judgment and ties of life deeply and when we just turn to the Father, He is there waiting to give grace. 

He forgives so easily and loves so freely.  All we have to do is seek Him.  Daily seek His grace.  And when we do then we can give grace so much easier.  Some situations - specifically in regards to relationships - broken trust, broken hearts, broken promises - seem to be impossible places for grace and forgiveness - but God.  Because only with God can we give grace in those situations where it seems like anger and bitterness and revenge would be better.  I know personally about this - I've experienced loss and hurt and broken trust and it haunts my every step in dealing with people.  But I also know God and every day that I receive grace I am more inclined to give grace. 

I'm also learning not to pat myself on the back about giving grace.  Because although one moment it seems easy - the next seems more challenging.  I am no better or no worse at giving grace than anyone else.  I am just a broken follower striving to be like Christ.  Some days I really struggle with grace and wonder how I deserve to be free in Christ.  I am surely not as good as someone else or maybe I'm a little better than someone else but then I'm gently reminded that no matter how I think I stack up to someone else - I don't know their story and even more I shouldn't care how I compare with anyone else.  I should only care how I compare to Christ.  Am I more like Him today than I was yesterday?  That should be my only comparison and my only goal. 

As Christmas approaches I'm looking forward to the time with family and friends.  It should be a celebration - an anticipation of the reason that we can have hope - Grace.  Grace wrapped in a blanket and laid in a manger.  Grace wrapped in skin to walk among us and die for us so that we can be free and we can give grace.  Learning to be like that little baby, willing to die for those who don't deserve grace.  Willing to love like Christ and not get caught up in the stress that so often comes with the holidays.  That's what Christmas is about - the hope of Grace. 

John 1:16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.

Change is Good

Psalm 62:1-2 NIV “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”

Faith is a living, breathing, active word. In the Bible Study I am doing right now I was reminded that faith isn't just a word it is an action. If we believe something we have to act like we do. Faith grows when it is used. Just saying we believe God has a plan and sitting back and waiting for it to happen isn't having faith that God will work out that plan. 

We actually have to move. To listen and discern and question what that plan is and then trust and exercise faith as we take the steps to move forward. 

Doing new things and moving forward is scary and difficult. It's so easy to just sit still and be comfortable. But as believers God calls us out of our comfort zone to be the people He wants and that usually requires change. It's not always big changes like moving or starting a new job or career. Sometimes it's little change like recognizing a weakness in our faith that we have to do something about. Taking the first step to seek forgiveness or just letting God know we see it and begin to allow Him to move in us to change it. 

Change requires faith. The kind of faith as small as a mustard seed that can move mountains. The kind of faith that overcomes fear because we know that God is faithful and doesnt leave us to change on our own. He walks beside us and holds us when we are afraid of change. He illuminates the next step with His presence even when we can't see the hallway. 

Trust and obey is more than just a song. Trusting God requires obedience and obedience requires trusting. We can dwell in the truth that is His word and when we seek Him daily He will move us forward and that will include change. 

So today I'm just gonna keep moving forward trusting in Him. Even if my faith is as tiny as a mustard seed. Because really that's enough for today. 

 

Don't Let the Rain Spoil the Parade

Sometimes it rains during the parade. My kids decided last year that the Texas Renaissance Festival was a new family tradition. So this year we planned a longer visit and decided to go the very last weekend. I bought our tickets in May while they were on sale and we anticipated the weekend with enthusiasm. 

As I've often found in life plans don't always go exactly the way we want them to. Sometimes things happen that are unavoidable and cause us to readjust the schedule. And that's exactly what happened. We weren't able to leave exactly when we wanted and it pretty much rained the whole weekend. But I found it interesting that there were no complaints only giggles and joy. 

We met some new people and still got to see all that we wanted and even made some side stops to check out some new possibilities. I realized it all comes down to attitude. If we approach everything in life holding our plans loosely then when they get changed or rearranged it's really not a big deal. 

Being able to go with the flow is much more fun than stressing and worrying about everything fitting in to a set plan or schedule. God has a plan that only He can see and when we sit back and let Him lead it makes the path easier. That's hard for me sometimes. I like knowing. But even when it rains He still guides our path. Still directs our steps and shows us what is next. We just have to trust and obey. Then we can giggle through the rain and just wait to see what comes next. 

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.”

Psalm 37:5-6 NIV

Doing the I don't Want to Things

If you are at all like me there are always things that you don't want to do. There are things that bring us fear of the outcome or worry or stress. We put them off because we just don't want to deal with them. 

Just about every month there is that little thing - like balancing the checkbook or maybe it's a big thing like confronting a friend you are at odds with. Whatever it may be it hangs over your head just weighing you down. Permeating your days with fear and your nights with sleeplessness. 

I have found the only answer is to just face it head on. Deal with it as soon as possible and get it over with. Usually the fear is replaced by instant relief. Trusting God to manage it and just dealing with it. Of course as usual it all boils down to control. We can't control the outcomes so we worry and stress instead of just dealing with it. 

So as we get close to Thanksgiving just face the challenges first and be thankful for the God who gives you strength. Have the self-control to give Him control and the discipline to work for Him - even in the hard things. He has a plan and He will work it out if you let Him. 

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

So I am really not in the Holiday frame of mind.  The time seems to have just snuck up on me and is going at warp speed and I am far from ready.  I was trying to decide why the holidays seem to bring so much stress when they should be a time of joy and relaxation.  I'm sure there are many answers depending on who you ask as to why they are stressed out over the holidays.

Maybe they don't think they have enough time to get everything done.  Or enough money.  Maybe they know there will be someone judging what they do and how they do it.  Maybe its that the plans that were made will get changed or not go perfectly.  Maybe its just hard to do the holidays because life has thrown us a curve ball and someone isn't going to be there that we want to be there.  Or grief, or loneliness.  All of these things can add to the stress of the holidays. 

I know for me its a little bit of an introvert thing - too many people.  It's not that I don't enjoy the people I know I will see but I know it will take more energy and that causes me a bit of stress and exhaustion before the fact.  There is also the expectations that we put on the holidays.  That everyone will get the perfect gift or have the perfect meal and no one will get their feelings hurt or whatever we expect that doesn't quite work out.  All of those things take the joy out of our holidays.

Thanksgiving and Christmas and even New Years should be a time of overwhelming joy.  But we let our emotions and life interfere with the reality.  The reality is that we all have the same amount of time and we all have different expectations and we all have different emotions.  The Holidays should be about worship.  Thanking God for all we have been blessed with and for His Son who came as a baby and a New Year to start again.  When we take the focus off the little stuff - how many gifts are under the tree - do we decorate before or after Thanksgiving - do we travel - do we not - then we can focus on what matters.  Being kind and grateful and loving and worshipping the one true God.

That's not easy to do.  We just want everything to be perfect and we let that overwhelm our emotions.  We have to take the time to get with God.  He can redirect our focus.  He can help us find rest and enthusiasm about the days.  Don't sweat the small stuff this year - try to let it go and just seek the One that it should all be about.  Focus on the King - the reason we are thankful and celebrating. 

Psalm 100:4 (NIV) Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

Clearing the Fog

This morning I woke up to heavy frost and fog. The fog was thick and hard to see through at points and thin and grey at others. Then I finally came out of the fog and it was clear and beautiful. 

I've spent time in the fog. Days, weeks, months and even years where I felt like I was just going through the motions and looking back with no strong impression of the time and wondering where it's gone. 

Other times I've experienced great clarity.  Where it seemed like each day was clear and concise and I could see what was important and what wasn't. 

Today made me think about the difference. Why are there times that I feel like I'm living in a fog and others that seem clear? I can only speak for myself but I think it has to do with the Son. Just as the sun burns off the fog so the Son (Jesus) brings clarity to the days.

I have to be intentional in spending time with Him and in focusing just on today. If I get caught up in the land of yesterday or tomorrow then my vision gets foggy and I can't see what's real. Living outside of the fog requires intentional focus on God and today that's the only way to live in the light - to spend time with the Light. Jesus is the light and when we seek Him then and only then can He expose the dark and burn off the fogginess in our lives. Focusing our minds and thoughts on Him brings clarity to the days. 

John 8:12 (NIV) When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 

  

Finishing the Puzzle

What is it that causes fear?  Why do I struggle with the worry or anxiety that sometimes seems to plague me?  I think there is always something that can cause me fear.  When I was little it was the dark - I didn't really like the dark. I didn't like open closet doors that appeared dark and scary.  As I've grown up I actually enjoy the dark to a degree and especially like it to be very dark when I sleep.  I still am not as comfortable with open closet doors and I get regularly teased about that but now it's much more than the dark that causes me to fear.

It's the unknown.  Not knowing something causes great fear.  When I don't know what the next step should be or where my people will end up or where the payment for the next bill or what might show up on the next physical that I truly get afraid.  I'm sure it goes back to being in control. 

I love puzzles.  I love seeing all the pieces going into place and building something cool or beautiful.  Life is a lot like puzzles.  Each choice, each decision, each part of our lives builds a picture.  The difference between putting a puzzle together and letting our lives build one is we don't have a picture to go by on the lid.  It's that picture on the lid that drives us to complete the puzzle.  We know when we are finished we will see it all together.  Life doesn't work that way.  We don't have any clue what the finished picture will be.  We don't know how that bump in the road or crooked piece fits into the picture of our life.  And that is where the fear comes in.  Can we make the pieces fit so that the picture is beautiful or will it be a jumbled up mess of pieces that never comes together? 

That's where faith comes in. Do we trust God with all the pieces of our puzzle?  Because you know what - He is looking at the lid with the picture on it.  He knows.  He can see every piece fitting together until we are fulfilled with Him in eternity as a the perfect design He intended us to be.  He holds the box and all the pieces and with every choice we make He picks up the piece and gently puts it where it belongs slowly building the beauty that He sees in us.  When we let Him.  That's the key - trusting and obeying and letting Him place each piece where it fits the best. 

So let go of the unknown and the crazy mixed up pieces of your life and let your God who has the box lid in hand fit you together the way that finishes the puzzle in beauty. 

Matthew 10:26 (NIV)  “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known."

Only One Call

If you could only make one call at a time when life seemed difficult, who would it be?  I am really being hammered right now to remember that the first call or conversation I should have when I'm facing tough times is with God.  Before I spill my guts and ask for help from anyone else I need to take it to Him first.  He loves when we cry out to Him and search His word for help.  He gladly sends answers which may very well come from another believer.  But our first call should be to Him. 

If we truly trust Him to control our lives and lead us in the right path we should go to Him first.  This is probably one of the things I struggle with the most.  You see - I'm a control freak.  I like to schedule things out and know what is going to happen next.  Regretfully my life doesn't always go the way I plan.  I don't get to decide what other people should do or how they should act or where they should go.  I only get to decide about me.  The first thing I have to decide is that God is in control and then let Him do just that.  Control - guide - direct and show me what He wants me to do.  I can't be god to anyone else and I can't make choices for them.  What a boring world it would be if everyone did things exactly like I think they should and the way I want. 

God made us all different and we each have to determine our path - hopefully with Him at the center and us becoming more like Him.  But that doesn't mean we all become the same - just as we each have unique personalities we have unique ways of putting Him first and becoming like Him.  When it's all said and done who I am shaped to be is unique in Him and He will have the last say.  So first I need to go to Him and then get out of His way and let Him shape me and those I love exactly the way He wants. 

For a control freak mama that can be hard.  But today - right now - I know my God is a big God and has a plan for everyone in my life - and He doesn't need my help.  Thank goodness because I can't be god.

Matthew 6:33-24 (NIV)  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I Am Not Ashamed

I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ.  In today's culture I see so many mixed messages about Christianity and what it means and I struggle with some of those messages.  I believe that Christ lived and died to save me from my sin.  He came to this world, sent by the Father to walk with us and teach us so that we might spend eternity in heaven and when He left, He left the Spirit to comfort us and to guide us.  He came so that we might become more and more like Him in our daily walk so that when we die and join Him in heaven we will be like Him fully.

Today - what does that mean?  Some seem to think we have to be perfect today.  Living a perfect life, achieving all that we should and not letting anyone see our faults.  Others seem to think we should show all our faults and accept each other without question.  Some think love is the only answer and that should be our answer to everything.  I agree with some of this.  I think that we should be a reflection of Christ in all that we do and say. 

When we love like He did we go to the broken and hurting and do what we can to help them.
Matthew 25:39-40 (NIV)  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ This isn't always easy because we look at the outside and see the differences and we judge.  We are afraid that they aren't like us and we can't help them or that they will take advantage of us and be a danger.  Christ loved all of the broken and was betrayed by one He was closest to.  But we aren't Him and we will always struggle here. 

I think that we have gone from a culture of love and acceptance to one ruled by fear and by mass judgment.  We are quick to defend those who think like us or look like us or love like us. But we forget that even though Jesus loved and walked closely with sinners He never left them in their sin.  We are to love but not overlook what is sin.  We don't treat people differently because of their sin but we don't ignore it either. 

I grew up in church and I've seen the religious hyprocrites who lived white washed lives on the outside but the behind the scenes lifestyle was so different.  They cast judgement and aspersions on those not like them.  I've seen the other extreme where they loved so unconditionally that they overlooked blatant sin as if it didn't matter.

Matthew 23:28(NIV) In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

I think that culturally today we can't find our balance.  We either judge or love.  But if we are showing Jesus then drawing others to Christ should lead them to change.  Jesus didn't leave people alone.  He encouraged them to grow and develop which means the Holy Spirit will confront their sin.  We aren't to be the Holy Spirit to them but we can help them by discipling them and hold them accountable.  I believe to grow like Christ we need accountability partners who will be honest and open with us and with love show us where we may be falling.  We should be set apart and different and we shouldn't be ashamed.  In today's culture we may be ridiculed and argued with because we believe sin is sin.  We don't go around pointing out the sin but loving them to the point that they see and come to know Christ so He can do the work that we can only pray for.  I pray that God is always showing me the sin in my life and teaching me to love like Him so others will recognize the sin and learn to be like Christ. 

John 8:11 (NIV)  “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” We love and accept but we still have to recognize that we all are flawed.  Like Christ sent out His disciples we need to remember -  Matthew 10:16 (NIV) “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

 

Trying to be Thankful

Sometimes its hard to be thankful.  We get caught up in all of the life stuff happening around us and we just take things for granted.  We don't pay attention to even the smallest thing to be thankful for - that we can take a breath of air and we are alive.  Beyond that there are so many opportunities to give thanks but so often I get caught up in the things going on each day or fear of what might happen that I forget to actually give thanks.

It's almost Thanksgiving and honestly I just can't believe the year is nearly over.  The closer to the end of the year the more I feel a bit overwhelmed with what comes next.  A variety of different things I've read lately have all pointed to the importance of being thankful for everything.  Even the bad or scary things.  To be thankful that my kids have grown up and are about to change directions is hard.  I am thrilled at the young people they are becoming but so fearful of the next steps.  Not so much for them although I do pray they make wise choices and stick as close to God as they can but fearful of how our lives will change.  The differences that will occur and how we stay connected even when we are apart.  It's hard to do and yet so much easier than it used to be. 

Growing up we moved often and friends fell by the way side once you were out of sight and out of mind no matter how hard you tried to write letters or keep in touch.  Life intruded and the relationships kind of just went away.  It's sad really, when I think of all the people I've known and met and how many I couldn't even begin to name today.  I think that is the fear that permeates my ability to be thankful.  I don't want to lose the connections - not just with my kids but others that I consider essential to my life. 

Just as being thankful requires intentionality in my life so do relationships.  In today's culture we have some advantages - social media and telephones that allow us to see who we are talking to.  It is truly a different world and the opportunity to stay connected is easier than when I was growing up but it still requires intentionality. 

I was reading in my Priscilla Shirer Bible Study - Breathe yesterday and she mentioned how to have peace (no fear - calm in the midst of the storm).  We have to use thankful prayer to combat anxiety and fear and just the overwhelming sense of life.  Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." When we offer thankful prayer to God and acknowledge all that He has done, is doing and will do for us then we can have peace about the tomorrows and be thankful for what we have. 

I have to always remember to stay in the moment not looking too far ahead but looking up to the Father who holds us safely in His hands.  Thankful prayer - always rejoicing and always thanking. 

Superman

“Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him.” John 7:18 NIV

Recently I was thinking about how some people seem to have a big presence. When they enter the room their personalities seem to be bigger than life. Almost superhuman. I was trying to decide what it is that makes those people seem that way. 

Many people appear bigger than life because they seem confident and maybe they are louder or talk with authority while others seem to just take over a room with their presence. What's the difference?  

I have found that some people put on a confident air to cover something - an insecurity, a weakness or some perceived flaw. Those people may command attention but don't exude presence. They may seem bigger than life until you get to know them and recognize the truth. Those people are probably struggling with pride issues that they have never fully addressed or they are more worried about who is watching them and are superficial in their personalities. 

The people that I find truly can take over a room are those who have a confidence not just in themselves but they recognize their value and worth. They aren't concerned with what others think. They don't feel the need to be loud or in charge or overbearing or cocky.  They just seem to draw people. 

It's the quiet strength and assurance that seems to be transparent and reach out to others. I believe it is in knowing who God made them to be and striving to be like Him that makes them truly a presence. I know a few of them and it is their joy for life, compassion and appreciation for others as well as their kindness that is a draw.  

Those who aren't genuine and present big and confident can provide false advertising. Once you get to know them you may just find a mean person who doesn't care for anyone but themselves. I've known some of these as well and as much as you initially are drawn to them it doesn't take long to realize the mistake. 

Talking with my son this morning in the car we started discussing the differences in the actors who played Superman and which ones worked. It brought to light that appearances can be deceiving.  Just like Superman - he was confident at times and meek and mild mannered at others. Yet he exuded, even as Clark Kent a genuine concern for people and quiet strength.  

When you find the people who are genuinely seeking a heart like God the pride and selfishness is less. Not that they are perfect but the draw is deeper.  

I'm praying today for wisdom to see and strength to be more like Christ every day. 

“In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” Psalm 10:4 NIV

Take a Break

Sometimes when I have an amazing  opportunity it's all I can do to make myself take advantage of it. I come up with a million reasons why I shouldn't take the time. Things I think I need to do or just not wanting to get out of the house. Yet almost every time I end up having a great time and am so glad I took the time. 

Last night I had the opportunity to spend some time with my son at a Cirque Du Soleil show.  It didn't cost me anything but time and I was so glad I did. It was an incredible show and we both needed a break. In the midst of senior projects and college applications a couple of hours of enjoyment was a nice respite. 

I'm helping with a retreat this weekend and our topic is rest. I decided to heed the lessons I was preparing and just take a break and make sure my son did as well. 

I'm so glad I did. Sometimes you just have to take a break without guilt or stress. So do something fun for yourself even if it's just for a little while. 

When I am Weak

Today is Veterans Day and having been a military kid I appreciate the sacrifices that are made in the name of freedom. Our country is free because we fight to keep it that way. It takes more than one person to maintain freedom. 

Christ died to give us freedom from the chains that satan likes to bind us with. And in our weaknesses He is strong. But we need the help of other soldiers to face the days. As moms we need other moms to help and encourage us when we feel overwhelmed. As students we need other students who can tell us you will get through this. As friends we need friends who will lift us up when we are down and in turn we can lift them when they are down. 

Whatever the circumstances. We can't do life alone. We weren't made for that. We have to have other people to help us when we fall. I'm grateful for friends and family who have fought for my freedom abut even more grateful for a God who gave me the freedom to stand with Him.  His power is sufficient for all my needs. He sends the right people at the right time to help me be strong. I just have to trust Him and obey Him. 

“say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.””

Isaiah 35:4 NIV

Control Freak

I am a control freak. I like to know what's coming. The unexpected and surprises are not enjoyable to me. My posts lately all seem to revolve around change and my lack of control.

Just this weekend I did one of those Facebook quizzes (I don't put much stock in these) about your word for the new year. What do you know - my word was change. It seems to be the story of my life. 

I spent the weekend with my son and boyfriend on a college visit for my son to look at one more school. It was a vivid reminder of the upcoming changes and the possibilities for tomorrow. If I could write the script of my life I would just ink in each step for me and my kids and all my relationships to go exactly as I would like in the time I would like. Regretfully, I can't do that. I can't predict or even really plan the tomorrows. It would be so less scary if I could. 

What I can do, is pray. That's really all I can do. I do have to make steps to move forward and try to guide my kids wisely as they choose the next location for the next phase of life but I can't make those choices for them. I can try to make sure I have all the necessary things in line for the next phase of my life but I am not guaranteed tomorrow. 

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7 NIV

Natalie Grant has a beautiful new song called King of the World. If you haven't heard it you should. It's a great reminder of who controls our lives. Not us and certainly not me. Only God. 

God gave me a beautiful sunrise this morning and it was a vivid example of His hand at work. A new day, a new start. Each step with Him makes the changes less scary. 

Here's Your Sign

Judges 6:17-18 NIV, "Gideon replied, 'If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. ¹⁸ Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.' ”

I love the story of Gideon.  I think because he was so quick to ask for a tangible sign that God was telling him what to do.  Every day we have to make choices.  Some of them are simple - what to wear, what to eat or when to wake up for work.  Some choices are far more difficult and frightening.  When do I leave where I am or take a new job or which school should I attend?  Any time we face change we want to be sure we are making the right choice.  We don't want to get down the road and realize maybe we chose poorly. 

I've made my share of poor choices and I've made some excellent ones and in the grand scheme of things they all worked out okay.  Through each choice I've either learned something about myself or someone else, got to experience some hardship or blessing or just realized there wasn't really a good or bad choice.  The one thing I have figured out more than anything else is that if I am truly seeking God's will then the choice I make is the right one.  He's been in, on or behind all those choices - shaping me through them to be more like Him. 

Gideon and I have much in common.  More than once I have done something similar to this request of Gideon to God.

³⁶ Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— ³⁷ look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” ³⁸ And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water. Judges 6:36-38 NIV

I've asked God to fulfill some small thing as part of my search to reassure me that He was in that choice.  Sometimes its been as small as just show me a certain thing today and I will see your hand.  Sometimes its a verse or a song that just seems to powerfully speak to the situation I am trying to decide about.  Then there are the amazing times where I asked for something to happen that is way outside of logic
and it happened even quicker and better than I could have asked.  He hasn't always answered that way and sometimes I have to just keep moving forward without the fleece being answered.  But even then God has been there. 

³⁹ Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” ⁴⁰ That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew. Judges 6:39-40

Even after Gideon tested God again, God went on to use Gideon in a mighty way leaving no doubts to anyone watching that it was all God.  Sometimes when we question God, His answer is so obvious that there is no doubt that God is all over it.  I love when that happens.  The hard part is when we are listening and watching and we don't seem to get a sign of any kind.  Then we have to hold to the promises He gives and be wise in our choices trusting Him above all else.  Because that's when we will get to share with the world just how great our God is. 

So when you get a great "here's your sign" from God then be quick to thank Him and tuck it away so when you don't get one another time you can stand firm in Him knowing that even when we don't get a big sign He is still working it all out for us.

Sand Through the Hourglass

Acts 3:21 NIV Heaven must receive him until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets.

What is it about time?  One day it seems as if the minutes creep by and the next day they seem to fly.  A new year is just a short time away and I am in a state of unrest.  Excited for the promise of new tomorrows and sad at the promise of changes and endings.  It is a mixed up time.  Trying not to look too much ahead so as not to lose focus on today.  Anticipating changes that will be good and some bittersweet.  

God's time and our time never seem to be the same. I remember being younger and thinking the days seemed to move so slow and growing up seemed so far away. Then I had kids. Now each day seems to move faster towards them being out of the house and starting their own lives. It's a mixed blessing. 

Why is it that when we finally get old enough to appreciate time it seems to be sliding through our hands like those pieces of sand that trickle through the hourglass?  When we want to do something or are waiting for a change it seems the good changes slow down time and the not so good changes speed up time. Is it the fear or excitement that seems to impact our view of time? I'm not sure but I know without a doubt that the way I view time and the way God views time is different. 

I don't think we can fully comprehend time in this world. Until we sit at the feet of Jesus and time is never ending. For this world we just have to use the time we have without rushing towards tomorrow and stay focused on today. Just one day at a time. Focused on God who is the one who holds time in His hands. Trusting Him to show us what the next step holds. 

I wish I could slow the time down as my kids prepare to move on but at the same time I wish I could speed toward some exciting future events. Who knows what tomorrow will hold but I will trust my God to carry me through until such a time as we meet Him in the air. 

One of These is not Like the Other

Ephesians 4: 22-23 NIV You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Some times its hard to be different.  In a world where we spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to people who we think are better or maybe worse than us we get caught up in trying to be different than who we were created to be.

In the last few weeks, days and even moments God has been hammering this home to me.  I am not like anyone else and I am not better than anyone else and I am not worse than any one else.  I am me.  Just me - the one He created me to be.  My mind tends to run in circles sometimes making me look to the left or right or down to see who is the same or similar to me.  Who thinks the same or agrees with me or who isn't living life or expressing themselves the way I do or the way I think they should. 

The part God is really beating into me is that my only comparison should be to His character.  Am I becoming more like Him.  And although my relationship with God is just that - MINE!! I should be a reflection of Him to those who I encounter everyday.  I will not be perfect in this lifetime.  I will not stop comparing myself to others in this lifetime.  Because I am human.  I'm not Christ who walked the earth as fully man and fully God - perfect in every way. 

It really is hard not compare and not to judge.  Pride makes me want to pat myself on the back when I feel like I've got it and my self-esteem makes me want to beat myself up when I don't.  I should be concerned about others only to the extent to answer the questions - Can they see Jesus in me and how can I be Jesus to them?  How can I help them see Jesus - not in judgment but in love.  Not trying to convince them of my way or where they are messed up or hey look at me I'm worthy and equal to you even though I don't walk in the same circles as you - but hey - can I love you like Jesus did. 

So I hope that in this world, I'm not just like everybody else and when our paths intersect you see in me the confidence of Christ and the reflection of His character.  I've got a long way to go but He is showing me every day what I need to do different. 

2 Corinthians 7:1 NIV Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

Made New

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

When we come to the point that we recognize our sin and that Christ died to save us then we repent and He begins a work in us to make us new. In that moment we are assured of eternity with Him. That is an awesome thing but it shouldn't be the end. 

We should daily recognize our need for Him and we should long to grow closer to Him. We do that through Bible study and prayer and fellowship with other believers. Daily we have to lay down ourselves recognizing our weakness and allowing Him to be strong through us. 

Some of us struggle with admitting we are weak. Whether we just don't want to acknowledge that we can't do it or that we have too much pride to lay it down but our weakness is the opportunity that allows Christ to shine. He is strong when we are weak. 

It's not my place to judge anyone else's walk with Christ and I certainly can't pretend to know what is in someone's heart but I do know that if I'm growing in Christ then I should gradually begin to look more like Him. I should show "... love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

I should  be slowly becoming more like Christ. If people look at me and don't see a change then they are likely going to question my salvation. I pray that I continue to mature and become more like Him. Someday we will see fully what we are in Him and understand Him fully until then we have to daily seek Him first. 

“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

1 Corinthians 13:8-12 NIV